In My Eyes
by Lenihan
Summary: RoyGracia. Story takes place after episode 25. Enjoy the story.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, that belongs to Square Enix and Arakawa Hiromu. I also don't own the songtext, that comes from "In My Eyes" written and sung by Rufio.

**Author's Note:** Fanfic idea came to me when I listen "In My Eyes" from Rufio. Maybe the songtext I added is not that appropiate, but... I thought it was when I started on this. Oo;; What do you think?  
So anyway, my first Gracia/Roy fanfiction. ... Just because I felt like it. Not that I think Roy would ever consider marrying Gracia - not seriously at least - but it was fun to write. I hope you like it as well.  
**Warnings:** Spoilers from episode 25, if I'm honest, OOC from at least Roy's side and it's Roy/Gracia (or Gracia/Roy, whatever Oo)

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In My Eyes

_You're graceful  
__Your grace falls  
__Down around me in my eyes  
__You're lovely  
__Your love leaves  
__So sadly in my eyes_

Rufio - "In My Eyes"

_

* * *

I don't understand you, Roy. Honestly. I mean, what do you see in this forever dating of yours? Don't you ever get tired of these one-night stands? Of course, you have more energy than I have. I'm so happy that I have my Gracia. Don't you agree that she looks like an angel? But seriously, Roy, don't you think it's time to find a nice woman and settle down? There should be someone in this world who is your true love._

"Aa, you're right, Maes. But there is only one woman I truly love and she has already been taken by someone else."

* * *

Roy Mustang sat slumped down in his chair with a glass of whiskey in his hands. The bottle was nearly empty and he already began to feel that the pain in his heart became less. Soon, he'd slip away into the world of oblivious, where there was no pain or sorrow or haunting nightmares.

He was drunk and he knew it. It had been his purpose to get drunk this evening, like all the other evenings before. He wanted to be drunk, because he knew his feelings wouldn't bother him anymore if he drank too much. And the feeling of sorrow and guilt were more than he could handle.

Mustang sighed and rubbed his eyes wearily. He wasn't proud of what he was doing, but he couldn't help himself. The death of his best friend had hit him hard. That, however, was not the only reason why he drank this much every evening. There was another reason that went much deeper; a reason he was afraid to think about.

That he was in love with his best friend's wife.

He had always loved Gracia from the moment Hughes introduced her to him. Had it been someone else, he would certainly have tried to gain the young woman's heart. But his love for Hughes made that impossible. Hughes meant more to him than a brother could ever be and he genuinely wished his friend all the luck and love in the world.

Even if this meant he had to put away his own love in a dark corner of his mind and heart.

In order to forget about his love for Gracia, he began to date other women. This wasn't particularly hard, since he was a handsome young man who knew how to manipulate women. The dates never lasted longer than one night, however. His friend didn't understand this and Roy never had the guts to explain it to him. That it was simply too painful to spend the night with a random woman when your heart belonged to someone else.

And now she was once again alone, because her husband – and his best friend – had been killed. And that was the real reason behind all the drinking. Because Roy Mustang was afraid of his own joy the death of his friend had caused. Because he knew he could finally try to satisfy that burning desire in his heart. But which right did he have to seduce Gracia? Wouldn't that be the same as betraying his best friend?

* * *

"Goodmorning, Taisa," his loyal subordinate, Lieutenant Hawkeye, greeted him. She paused for a moment to exame his face carefully, then added in a low voice, "You look rather pale, sir. Are you alright?"

Her two brown eyes reflected a genuine concern. Roy gave her a superior smirk, one of the only things that were left of him. "Yes, I'm alright, chuui," he assured. "Thank you for your concern. What's on the agenda for today?"

Hawkeye decided not to pursue this matter any further and proceeded to tell him the most important things to do that day. He listened absently and after she had finished, he began to work at his paperwork. During the next hours, the rest of his crew entered the office as well.

Mustang was glad when the end of the day approached. This meant he could go back to his dorm. And once he was in his dorm…

He didn't want to think about that. But even without thinkint about it, he knew exactly what would happen. He also remembered he had to by a new supply of bottles, since he had emptied the last bottle of whiskey yesterday. Roy sighed quietly and put on his dark coat. His crew watched how he greeted and left the office. Concern was written on their faces. They may not know exactly _what_ was wrong with him, but they all felt that _something_ was amiss here.

It was cold outside. The sun shone and although his mind told him it was full spring, the rays could not warm up his body. It seemed as if they went right through him; as if he didn't exist anymore. And wasn't that at least partially true? Wasn't his existence blown out with his best friend dead and the only woman he loved was ways beyond his reach?

He slowed down without being aware of it. A few moments later, he stood still and gazed straight before him. He did not dar to turn his head and look at his right. He didn't have to look. How many times had he walked down this path and entered that house? Too many times, more than he could count. He had always been welcome. Would she still welcome him, now Maes was gone? Or would the door remain closed to him forever? He didn't know it. And he was afraid to find out the truth.

_Coward._

Yes, he was a coward. Despite all his power and superior behaviour, he was a coward. He was afraid, no, _terrified_ for the truth. The truth that he was no longer welcome. The truth that the door would remain closed forever.

_This is not the Roy Mustang I know._

Maybe Maes was right. Maybe he wasn't. Maybe the Roy Mustang he knew had died on the same night as him and all that was left was an empty shell of what had once been an energetic young Alchemist.

_Turn to your right and knock on the door._

No. No! He was not going to find out the truth! He would go to the shop, fetch a few bottles of whiskey and go back to his dorm. And once he was in the dorm, he would get drunk again and sleep the rest of the night without dreams or nightmares. He took decisively a step forward, but instead of forward, he turned right.

_Walk to the house and knock on the door, Roy. Now._

"No, please Maes. Don't do this to me," he pleaded silently. He tried to correct his misstep, but the next step took him again closer to the lovely house of Hughes. With his heart heavy from grief, guilt and fear, he walked further until he stood right before the wooden door. He raised one hand hesitantly and then knocked firmly on the door.

The door opened and the charming figure of Gracia appeared in the opening. Roy's breath halted and his heart missed a few beats. She hadn't changed at all. She was still as beautiful as when she was younger.

"Ara, Roy," she said smiling up at him. "What a pleasant surprise."

"I'm sorry to have disturbed you without a warning," he apologized. "I…" Words stuck in his throat, which felt like a desert. His mind refused to work and he could only think of how lovely she was. "I…" Dammit, he stood stammering like some school boy. What did she have to think about him now?

Mustang took a deep breath. "I wanted to offer you me deepest condolence for your loss of Maes Hughes."

Those eyes… they saddened a little, although she smiled bravely up at him. "Thank you, Roy," she replied simply. "It's lonely without him now, but I'm sure I'll get over it in a while. Can I offer you a cup of tea?"

His heart leaped from joy. She didn't reject him! He was still welcome! He was inclined to accept her offer, but there was still a fear that he wouldn't be able to control his emotions. He knew she accepted him as a friend and he didn't dare to risk to lose that friendship.

"No, thank you, Mrs. Hughes, but I've got things to do."

_This really annoys me, Roy. Accept her offer or I'll get angry._

Gracia nodded. "I understand. Are you sure you don't have time for one cup of tea, Roy?"

"No, I'm really-"

_Don't make me mad, Roy._

Roy sighed with resignation. "I suppose a cup of tea won't hurt," he admitted.

The radiant smile Gracia gave him was enough to be sure his choice had been correct. He returned it hesitantly, like 'the good ol' Mustang' would've done, and entered the house. It hadn't changed since his last visit more than a year ago. It even smelled the same; a warm, spicey scent that gave him the feeling he was home.

"Wait a moment, please. I'll be back in a minute with the tea. Would you like a piece of cherry pie as well?"

How could he refuse _that_? "If it's not too much trouble, Mrs. Hughes."

"Of course it's not too much trouble," she laughed. "And please call me Gracia, like you always did before." She moved gracefully away to the kitchen. Mustang watched her leaving and an old, playful smirk hovered on his lips.

_See, it wasn't that hard, was it? You always make things look worse than they are in reality. That's a failing of you, Roy. You should be more optimistic at times._

Oh, shut up Maes, he thought. Mustang took a quick glance through the room as he tried to ignore the little voice in the back of his mind. He stiffened visibly when he spotted the table with photos of Maes. One of them contained both Hughes and him from the time when they had been privates. The picture brought so many memories back that a lump of tears gathered in his throat.

_Nice picture, don't you think so?_

Before he could come up with a sharp retort, Gracia returned with the tea and pie. Mustang swallowed hard and helped the woman by taking over the tray from her. He was rewarded once again with a sunny smile.

"Thank you, Roy."

"Iie, thank you for inviting me in," he replied with a charming smirk. He sank down on the soft sofa and accepted the cup of tea. Personally, he preferred coffee, but he didn't want to appear too demanding. Strangely enough, the tea made him feel better than any amount of coffee could have done.

It was silent in the room and Mustang sought for a topic to talk about. One glance at Gracia told him she had the same problem. This would've never happened when Maes was still alive. The tall dark man always knew something to talk about and he often filled in the silent gaps in a conversation. But Mustang simply did not know what to say and for once, his friend also didn't help him. This was something he had to handle himself and it would be his actions that would determine the end of this conversation. He also understood with painful clarity that today would determine wheter he would walk away as a loser with only her friendship or a victorious hero with her love.

Roy placed his cup carefully on the table and picke dup the pie. He took one bite and enjoyed the sweet taste with his tongue.

_What is it going to be, Roy? Hero or loser?_

"The pie is wonderful, Gracia," he complimented the young widow.

_Hero or loser?_

"… Just as wonderful as you are, Gracia," he added softly. Hero or loser, it didn't matter anymore. She might turn him down, but as long as he was here, he'd tell her how much he loved her and how much she meant to him.

Gracia blinked surprised and smiled uncertainly, as if she didn't know what to say to this.

Roy couldn't blame her.

"It's kind of you to say that, Roy."

A bit of his old flirtuous self returned. It was obvious by now that Hughes wished to see them together now he was gone. Maybe it had been a hallucination caused by the drinking, but Roy doubted that. A hallucinated Maes would never encourage him to flirt with Gracia. If anything, a hallucinated Maes would try to make him feel guilty.

Roy looked up into those beautiful green eyes and smirked. "It is the truth. I can understand why Maes adored you." His smirk softened and her rose to his feet to kneel before Gracia, took her hand and looked up at her. "Because I adore you as well, Gracia," he confessed quietly.

"Roy…" It was clear she didn't know what to do with this situation. Again, Roy couldn't blame her. He let go of her hand and stood up.

"I'm sorry if I confused you with this, Gracia. But I had to say it to you. I love you, Gracia." His eyes scanned the room, since he didn't dare to look her straight in her face. "I understand it if you don't return the feeling. Now I think I must go before I make things worse. Goodbye, Gracia."

He saluted and turned around to leave the mournig widow alone. "Wait." Gracia's friendly voice held him back. "Don't go yet. Don't…"

Leave me alone, he added absently in his mind. Then he stiffened. Don't leave me alone? Did this mean Gracia longed for his company? But that was impossible! She loved Maes, her heart _belonged_ to him. … Right?

A warm hand touched his arm. A sweet flower-scent drifted up to his nose. Gracia stood right behind him. He felt again like a school boy in love. His heart missed a beat, his breath became hitched and worse of all: he didn't know what to do.

"Gracia… What…?" He was speechless. The Flame Alchemist was left speechless for the first time in his life.

"Do you think," she asked softly, "that two best friends can love each other?"

"But… Maes… I thought that… Won't he…"

"What does your heart say?" She looked pleadingly up at him. "I love you too, Roy. I love Maes, but you as well. So can you please stay?"

"I think I can." He placed carefully one arm around her waist and used the other to hold her hand. "If Maes doesn't mind it, I can stay."

Gracia closed her eyes and smiled. "I don't think he'll mind it."

* * *

From up in the sky, Hughes watched how the two people who were closest to him engaged in a kiss. It touched him deeply and he smiled down on them.

"Make her happy, Roy."

_Aa…_

"You two are made for each other. Good luck and farewell. Know that I'll be always near you."

…_Thank you, Maes._

With a little laugh, he rose up to his feet and flew away. It was good to see them happy, Maes thought. If only Roy had the courage to ask her to marry him… But Hughes was positive he'd do it one day. "Have fun, my dears."


End file.
